Yes, Please, and Thank You
by Ashley Randleman
Earlier this year, my 3-year old daughter attempted to dress herself. Her growing independence had just informed me she could do it all by herself. I sat and watched as she shoved her legs through the wrong openings of her underwear, struggled to get her legs into her pants, and repeatedly missed the opening of her shirt for her head. Frustrated, she finally found the opening and yanked her shirt down over her head. She punched her fists through the sleeves of her now backwards shirt. She broke down in tears and still attempted to pull her socks up over her heels — to no avail.
“I didn’t want your help!” she cried in angry tears as I came to the rescue. I graciously explained that even though she didn’t want my help, she needed it. I expertly pulled her socks up over her heels, switched around her backwards shirt, took off her pants to fix the placement of her legs in her underwear, and pulled her pants back on correctly.
Although most of us have grown past the difficulties of getting dressed in the morning, our hearts aren’t too far off from this picture.
In life’s difficulties and struggles we often find ourselves frustrated when we feel in over our heads. The very help we need, we either do not ask for or reject when it presents itself.
I have this default setting of, “If you say I can’t, I’ll prove to you I can.” It can be attractive when I’m attempting something noble or inspiring, but is not so attractive when it leaves me in frustrated tears because I’m overwhelmed and wondering where all of the help has gone.
Before we even had our first service, the Lord brought Miss Judy (who must have seen this trait in me) into my life. Having served in full-time ministry for 45 years, she cautioned, “You need to not only train your people how to become a part of the church as workers, but also train them how to take care of you, personally.” She went on to say that if I continually denied the help that the people in our church would offer me, they would eventually stop offering.
I grabbed ahold of that piece of wisdom that day and have since learned the power of: “Yes, Please, and Thank You!” I pray that you will grab ahold of it as well. The next time someone offers to help, I challenge you to:
Say, “Yes!” — eagerly, enthusiastically, and confidently. Resist the urge to refuse. I’ve noticed that as I continue to say, “Yes,” I continue to be offered help.
Say, “Please!” — politely, humbly, and boldly. James 4:2 says, “...You do not have because you do not ask God.” Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. Put your pride aside, and carve out opportunities for your church family to assist, support, and help you! If your hands are full and no one is jumping up to offer assistance, chances are you haven’t asked. Instead of being frustrated, upset, or angry...start asking!
Say, “Thank you!” — always and at all times. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Always say thank you! It puts your heart in a posture of gratitude and paves the way for future opportunities to be offered help.
Since that particular meltdown moment with my daughter, I’ve instituted the saying of, “Yes, Please, and Thank You!” when it comes to this matter. When we are offered help, we accept. When we need help, we ask. When we have help, we thank.
Add “Yes, Please and Thank You” to your vocabulary and watch the Lord bring you the help you want and need.
Ashley Randleman is a pastor’s wife of ten years and a mother of four (Nathan, Josiah, Lydia, and Titus). She and her husband, Jeremiah, planted River Church in February 2014. Ashley has a heart for the mothers and women in her life and church. She pours into them on a weekly basis from the comfort of her living room carpet over strong coffee and meaningful conversation.