Leap of Faith
By Christan Causey
Through this entire church planting process, there have been these little moments, here and there, that can only be described as God moments – God-intended, God-appointed, and God-planned moments. They are amazing; they bring peace and a soft reminder that whispers, "I am faithful, I am with you.”
For example, in a crazy, completely uncharacteristic way I threw our house out there on Zillow. Just to see, and God showed up in a big way.
I felt God had led me to take a leap of faith without having it all ready. I mean we had nothing ready. There was no decluttering or cleaning done. Our house wasn't nicely staged. I didn't even have pictures to put up. I posted it, “For Sale By Owner,” and we started getting contacted 24 hours later.
If you know me, you know I am a realist. When I say realist, sometimes I mean fatalist. I don't mean to be that way. It's my temperament, it's my life experiences, or it's my thorn in the flesh. Either way, I deeply struggle with hope. I have faith, but I tend to qualify it or hold it loosely. I trust God, but I also know he allows difficulty. That sort of thing. It's a real struggle I am always working on.
This time, my faith was built. There had been too many things that just seemed to be put together by God himself. I was hopeful that God would work miraculously through our house situation. In fact, it had been a prayer of mine since last year, and I truly felt He was going to respond.
Ten days went by, and we had one showing pan out – it was the very first contact we had. They had positive feedback, but gave us nothing else. That was a Tuesday. My hope began waning by Friday, and by Saturday, I was frustrated. That's putting it lightly.
There were other circumstances contributing to my angst, but my main stress that morning was the house. I had really been hopeful, but I had started to feel that, like many times before, God was doing something different than what I had thought or prayed for. Now, I know he is sovereign. He has a plan that is trustworthy, and he is always looking out for our best interest. I get it. But I was disappointed, and, well, I am a hot mess that God regularly has to deal with. Whatever.
I was in the middle of crying out to God – literally crying. I was angry at the world, and I felt like everything was falling apart (only a slight exaggeration). I was working out my anger and frustration and trying to process this disappointment to get to the other side and trust God no matter what.
Then I got an email notification, and I looked at it in order to distract myself from my misery.
It was the realtor sending a cash offer from his buyer. (In the end, it became a bidding war between two cash buyers).
This. Was. Miraculous.
I have known God my entire life. I have followed Christ passionately since first I understood anything about a relationship with God. But I will never truly understand his purposes and how he works them out. I can't wrap my mind around his plan for us or his plan for this world. The catch, though, is he is faithful. He is bigger and better than me. His purposes are greater than my eye can see or my mind can comprehend. And even when he has disappointed me, his good was accomplished. Maybe not what I considered my good, but his good.
To obey is to surrender. To surrender is to trust. To trust is to love God wholeheartedly and to accept his unreserved, wholehearted love for me. Which ensures my best interest whether or not I like what is in front of me.
Could we have lost our minds and be making the biggest mistake of our lives? Possibly, but I know my God, and I know how to hear his voice. I choose to walk in obedient trust, understanding to the best of my ability what He is leading us to do. If I misstep or I fail, it won't be for lack of trying or for lack of seeking his Kingdom.
There is a lot that happens around us and to us that regularly speaks to the unfaithfulness of people and even of our own unfaithfulness. Nonetheless, as followers of Christ, we must first trust in the faithfulness of our God (Romans 3:3).
My desire is to grow in my trust and faith, so that I may live in peace always. To be able to say as Abraham, “Against all hope, I believe.” Even when it seems hopeless, I will still believe in the promises and goodness of my God.
Christan Causey is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God and is the Network Women's Director for the Southern New England Ministry Network. She and her husband, Brad, have three beautiful, young children. They have been ministering in New England for over 9 years, and recently launched Essence Place in Connecticut! Learn more about Christan at her blog: christancausey.com