Killing Comparison – CMN Women

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Killing Comparison

By Sarah Means

Church planting is a family affair. It is close, it is sacred, and it is personal.

When we set out to plant our church we knew that the enemy would be upset. We needed to be creative, and allow God to use us in ways that were unexpected. Unexpected soon turned into uncomfortable.

I would leave for work in the morning and my sweet husband would be at home, reading his Bible with our six-pound yorkie, Penelope, on his lap. He would share how he loved to spend time worshipping in the quiet of our home and that God was speaking to him about the future of our church. Until this very moment we used to both race out the door to get our son to school and head to our management careers. Both leaving home, both working outside of the comforts of our sanctuary. Both getting up and going. Both of us.

I should have been overjoyed that God had financially prepared us to be in a place where my husband could focus on the church without working another job, building relationships in the community and in the school where we gather each week, praying and studying – but I was anything but happy about it!

I would huff out of the house in the mornings, mumbling under my breath and slamming doors. I would “tell” God all about it on the way to work, try to compose myself to greet my team of 27 hard-working team members. I was living a very irritated existence and, at times, a front. This was not what I signed up for!

I was a hot disaster of frustration and angst. We had never experienced anything like this in our marriage. I felt under-appreciated and overworked. Two adjectives that can cause a lot of strife were attacking me from all angles and I knew something had to give. I was feeling things that were untrue, because the enemy knew I would eat it up.

What had to give, was me. I had to bend, and then I had to break. I needed to stop being so self-centered, and instead remember the very reason why we’re making sacrifices. If I was to plant alongside my husband and have the privilege of seeing God move, I had to get with it – my heart had to be checked and held by the God that loved me so much.

So I broke, and God put me back together. It doesn’t mean it was easy. God used the unexpected frustrations to open my eyes to leading together in a new way, and a fresh wind of the Spirit pushed me along. Now, when I leave the house and he doesn’t I remind myself that he will face giants in his day that I won’t. And I will get to go to my career where I have friends and outlets, but he doesn’t. I leave home to arrive at my office, my personal space, but my husband stays within our home when he’s not in the community and faces challenges that are unique to him.

Church planting is uniquely blessed, and it will strengthen patience and our very dependence on God. If you find yourself, like I did, comparing your life as a church planting woman to your spouse, or anyone else, do what I needed to do: Check yourself, before you wreck yourself!


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Sarah Means and her husband, Trevor, planted Praise Community Church in January of 2018. Sarah leads the online social media ministry, Women of Worth Ministries, where she shares consistent encouragement and inspiration to ladies around the world. She is a lover of Jesus, her husband, her son, and great coffee. Trevor and Sarah Means planted in their home town, Eugene, OR, with a focus to seek Jesus, make disciples, and love recklessly until their community knows God!