Steeping in Your Life
by Crysti Robertson
This morning, I was feeling a little sorry for myself as I attempted to squeeze in a devotional time while nursing my teething six-month-old and simultaneously answering the thousandth question pertaining to dinosaurs from my five-year-old.
You see, I have recently moved away from the place I’ve called home nearly all my life. I left all of my family, friends of over 20 years, and a job of 15 years. I love where we are, but learning to navigate life with a much smaller support system (for now) has been challenging.
When I opened up my Bible app, I came across the verse of the day which is, sadly, most days the extent of my “devo time.” Don’t get me wrong, I try to turn on worship music as I clean dishes; I try to reflect on the goodness of God while my baby spits all his food in my face, and I try to say prayers as I’m putting baby powder in hair because it is now the third day since I last washed my hair. I try.
Which brings me back to the verse of the day:
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works.
Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.
(Matthew 6:30-34, MSG)
You would think that, considering the circumstances in which I read this scripture, I would have felt so special and thought, “How amazing to have read this scripture at this very moment! The Lord does remember me and see where I am!”
Instead, I continued to feel overwhelmed while zeroing in on words like “steep your life” and “give your entire attention.”
My thoughts may or may not have gone a little like this (in rapid fire succession, of course):
“Really, Lord? And how am I supposed to do that? I just had to read that sentence four times to even get this message because my nursing baby is squirming, gassy, and screaming, and my other child has interrupted the reading three times to ask me to make more breakfast, change the channel, and to tell me which new dinosaur he wants from Target. Oh yeah, Lord, let me just steep my life, soak in your waters. Is there shampoo in that hot water? Because I’m about to hit day four of having dirty hair.”
The Lord’s response: patient silence.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m fighting mad it is usually the Lord’s quiet way that silences me faster than anything. And, once I stop fighting, I can hear Him a little better. Suddenly other words and phrases are popping out to me from the scripture of the day. “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax...don’t get worked up...God will help you.”
And just like that, I’m given a choice – continue to feel overwhelmed and depleted while furiously attempting to try to do all the right things on my own, or humble myself and receive God’s grace for my day.
Sounds simple enough, but for me this does not come naturally. This is a conscious decision I must make multiple times every day. I’m a doer. I get things done. I work hard and long, and I find meaning and purpose in working hard, so this idea of “steeping my life in the Lord” is one that I must train myself toward with the help of the Holy Spirit.
Out of nowhere, the lyrics of Little Einstein are pushed from my mind and the lyrics to the song “Here Now (Madness)” by Hillsong United begin to play:
Your ways are higher
Your thoughts are wilder
Love came like madness
Poured out in blood - wash romance
It makes no sense but this is grace
And I know You're with me in this place
And with that final nudge from the Holy Spirit, I gave up the fight for the day, and decided to steep in the Lord.
Nothing externally has changed. My child is still teething, and my son is still talking about everything that ends with “saurus,” but I have a different perspective for the day thanks to the Holy Spirit and His comforting way.
May you find yourself steeping in God’s goodness as you juggle the tasks of church planting, raising a family, loving a husband, or any challenge you face today. God will provide all you need for each day, and he takes great pride in you.*
Crysti Robertson is a staff wife at Gateway Fellowship Church where her husband, Matt, serves as the Executive Pastor. They have been married for seven years. Crysti serves on the media team, and she is very gifted in the arts.
Crysti enjoys being creative, whether it be decorating, cooking, dancing, directing, painting, etc. She loves learning new things and most enjoys time with family and friends.
*Closing paragraph provided by CMN Wives editor, Rebecca Burtram.